It's almost 11pm on Saturday night. I should be sleeping...the rest of my family is. But, I'm enjoying the quiet time. I've been wound pretty tightly the past couple of weeks. But, one thing I know for sure is...I do love being a mom. Not every day is a bright day...there are some days when I want to run screaming into the night. The boys can be challenging. Ian is 4...barely...so some of his terrible three's still creep in from time to time. He can be as sweet as peaches and also a crazy brat. Drew is reaching that stage where he is testing us...just seeing how much he can get away with. When we tell him no, he immediately starts to cry and look to see if we're paying attention. If I only had an ounce of their energy life would be grand.
With all of he craziness, we have a lot of fun. Charlie worked for a few hours this afternoon. Ian, Drew and I danced in the living room for a long time. My boys both love music and it's so much fun to dance with my boys. Drew has learned how to give real kisses...not just the lean and slobber kind. So sweet. Ian constantly just walks up and kisses me or hugs me and says "love you mommy". Precious.
All of the ups and downs of parenthood...who really knows what it's like until you're a parent? I know I certainly didn't. I wonder sometimes if I'm truly being a good mom to my sweet boys. I wonder if I'm giving them the tools they're going to need to be good, Godly men. Am I being the kind of mom they'll be proud of?
I had the greatest mom ever. She taught me so many things...so many. But the one thing that I know I learned from my mom was how to love. She loved me so deeply. I miss her terribly and it's always hard around Mother's day. She went home to the loving arms of Jesus the day before Mother's Day in 1994. Since then, this special day has been a struggle for me. But, you know God...he puts people in your life to put things in perspective. A few years ago, a dear friend of mine lost her mom on Mother's Day. I was so sad for her. But she said to me..."what a great reward...my mom got to see Jesus on Mother's Day." I had never thought about it that way before. The year after that....I was able to celebrate my first Mother's Day as a mother. This year, I'm a mom to two wonderful sons. God made me to be their mom...a mom that will love them, care for them, teach them and cherish them forever.
Happy Mother's Day to all of the fabulous moms out there. It's a day to celebrate and be thankful for.